You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Quite. Indeed.
Stranger: Cool dude
You: My servant killed me.
You: In 1789.
Stranger: That’s sick
You: Since then I have tried to communicate with the people of this time.
Stranger: What’s your name
You: I have a request to ask of you.
You: David Hume.
Stranger: What’s your request
You: I need you to go to my house in Gainsborough and find my body.
You: My murdered body.
Stranger: Sounds good
You: Will you?
Stranger: I’ll be heading out in 10
You: Thank you good sah!
Stranger: I live in Gainsborough
You: Restore my body and find me justice.
Stranger: Will do
You: What luck!
Stranger: Who killed you
You: My servant.
Stranger: What’s his/her mame
You: He believed I had slighted him 20 years earlier.
You: Edward Iron.
You: The Devil’s Hand.
You: He was taken by evil spirits.
Stranger: Sounds exicting
You: He spiked my drink and smashed the Pinot Noir bottle in my face!
Stranger: WHATA BITCH
Stranger: WHATA MCBITCH
You: He then spent two weeks carving his philosophy into my flesh.
Stranger: Do you like McDonald’s
You: To do this he used a match stick.
Stranger: Because you shouldn’t because that guy was a big MCBITCH
You: I am afraid I haven’t eaten since that night. I doubt this “McDonalds” would have suited my constitution.
You: Afterall The McDonalds were a savage tribe.
Stranger: I’m saying!!
You: What is it that they produce? Goat hoofs?
Stranger: Shitty food
You: What type? Blackbird pie? That is rather excrementy.
Stranger: It’s good but bad
You: What is this burger and fries you type of?
Stranger: Google it
Stranger: You old hag
You: How dare thee!
Stranger: Your dead fight me
You: I am stuck on this platform, seeking a champion to free me!
Stranger: Sorry boo
Stranger: I gtg
You: Free me from this!
Stranger: Go find someone
You: I beg thee.
You: “…just as we know our walking to be only a constantly prevented falling, so is the life of our body only a constantly prevented dying, an ever deferred death.”
Stranger has disconnected.