Ghost in the Machine

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: WASSUUUUP?!

Stranger: Nmmmmmmmmm

You: Quite. Indeed.

Stranger: Cool dude

Stranger: Suh

You: Yahyeah!

You: My servant killed me.

You: In 1789.

Stranger: That’s sick

You: Since then I have tried to communicate with the people of this time.

Stranger: What’s your name

You: I have a request to ask of you.

Stranger: Okay

You: David Hume.

Stranger: What’s your request

You: I need you to go to my house in Gainsborough and find my body.

You: My murdered body.

Stranger: Okay

Stranger: Sounds good

You: Will you?

You: Please.

Stranger: I’ll be heading out in 10

You: Thank you good sah!

Stranger: I live in Gainsborough

You: Restore my body and find me justice.

Stranger: Will do

You: What luck!

Stranger: Who killed you

You: My servant.

Stranger: What’s his/her mame

You: He believed I had slighted him 20 years earlier.

You: Edward.

You: Edward Iron.

You: The Devil’s Hand.

Stranger: Yikes

You: He was taken by evil spirits.

Stranger: Wow

Stranger: Sounds exicting

You: He spiked my drink and smashed the Pinot Noir bottle in my face!

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: WHATA BITCH

Stranger: WHATA MCBITCH

You: He then spent two weeks carving his philosophy into my flesh.

Stranger: Do you like McDonald’s

You: To do this he used a match stick.

Stranger: Because you shouldn’t because that guy was a big MCBITCH

You: I am afraid I haven’t eaten since that night. I doubt this “McDonalds” would have suited my constitution.

You: Afterall The McDonalds were a savage tribe.

Stranger: I’m saying!!

You: What is it that they produce? Goat hoofs?

Stranger: Good

Stranger: Food**

Stranger: Shitty food

You: What type? Blackbird pie? That is rather excrementy.

Stranger: Burgers

Stranger: Fries

Stranger: It’s good but bad

You: What is this burger and fries you type of?

Stranger: Google it

Stranger: You old hag

You: :O

You: How dare thee!

Stranger: Your dead fight me

Stranger: You’re**;)

You: I am stuck on this platform, seeking a champion to free me!

Stranger: Sorry boo

Stranger: I gtg

You: Free me from this!

Stranger: Go find someone

You: I beg thee.

You: “…just as we know our walking to be only a constantly prevented falling, so is the life of our body only a constantly prevented dying, an ever deferred death.”

Stranger has disconnected.

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